Cream of Wheat

It looks disgusting, but it's totally not. I put 2 packets of instant Cream of Wheat in a tupperware container with 2 heaping spoonfuls of sugar and take it to work. Then I dump in hot water and stir until it's grey, grainy and lumpy. Then I add milk and enjoy. It's just so goddamned good. I get annoyed if someone comes to my desk to visit while I'm enjoying my Cream of Wheat, because it starts to get cold. If I try to eat while talking to them, they're all, "oh, is that porridge?" No, it's not porridge, you dumb shit. I don't know what porridge is. Or maybe this is the porridge of the gods. The gods stand in a long line in the morning, eyes bleary and cheeks creased from the bedsheets, and the god who has cafeteria duty that week ladels big gobs of Cream of Wheat into their wooden bowls. Then they sit at long tables and silently scoop the lumpy goo into their mouths. I don't know what they have for lunch, maybe mac and cheese. With four cheeses, including edam. You have to put milk and lots of sugar in Cream of Wheat though, or else it's just vile.